Friday, August 18, 2006
you know the cheesy quote which goes:
"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out."
i used to think this was really cheesy and all. but now i realized that it's actually very true, because it applied to me in an opposite way. i don't dislike rika, but i dislike the person i am when i am with her.
today felly told me something. made me think quite a bit. well i think we just didn't understand each other the correct way, and in a way i was expecting too much as well. but the thing is we have nothing in common, so we don't really click and that's the sad part about it. perhaps you can say it was a mismatch and all, i don't know.
anyway i think i am becoming a bit more normal again. still recovering but i didn't really mean all those mean comments i said in the morning. anyway the morning was really quite cool.
woke up at 3.40, rika was awake at i don't know what time. i don't know how i managed to wake up, haha. then we had to go to the airport and jie fu tagged along as well, because they wanted to see someone else off later. we were late and it was actually quite good because we could save the trouble and cut queue to join the rest of the japanese students, haha. then we just sent them off and yumi kept waving back. she gave yuhan her yukata! because her bag had no more space. rika didn't turn back and wave at all, i think she was glad that she could finally go home and get away from me. ohwells. i was saying things about how the quiet kind can be the most potent sometimes.
after that i was fretting about getting to school cos i heard from weiting that the mrt at changi only starts at 7. o.O luckily i got to hitch a ride from aunty nicky and saved up on cab fare. i can tell you that cab fares are one of the most terrorizing things. and i got to school really early, around 6.20 and i've never gone to school so early before. the nj side gate wasn't even opened so i told xiaowen to come in with me and we basically tried to study but ended up talking. anyway i realized that going to school really early is quite cool, you'll get a very good environment to study/do homework.
oh, and this will most probably be the last time i'll keep in touch with the people of the exchange programme. pretty upsetting actually, we've gone through quite a lot, complaining about our hosts and guests and understanding each other, and comparing each other's plight, haha. (it's quite surprising that i said this. ha.)
the rest of school was okay. but i was really sleepy esp. lessons with james tan. hahaha i pissed him off and he pissed me off as well. but he's old already so i don't expect him to understand how tough it is to wake up early in the morning not to study but to go the the airport then going to school, it's quite a different feeling. plus his lessons are boring. come on i didn't even sleep that much during math, only during the breaks when neighbour was wasting time, so i think that shows how boring jamestan is.
oh physics test was okay. i mean i had imagined it to be a lot tougher, like undoable or sth. this must be another surprising fact that i said. i mean there were questions i didn't know how to do, but yeah i could do most of the questions. i really hope i pass and have at least an average score this time. i'll be really sad if i fail. :(
third lang was horrendous. listening became using my pencil to circle whatever shouko circled. i really tried to stay awake but it was really bad, i really couldn't make it. i didn't even know listening had started. and i didn't understand how joyce could survive, until she told me she ponned school today(!) too bad i had physics, couldn't do the same. actually i should have skipped PCCG and LA, hahaha.
oh yeah my sister's back from hongkong and the way she spends is crazy. like one jacket cost 100 and she can go get two of them and one really expensive watch. and she didn't get for me anything :( but she bought a lot of jelly, got me addicted.
anyway kettle chips suck because they don't have small packaging. by the time you finish trying all the flavours, you'll be fat and broke already.
i feel less restricted now that rika's gone, and i'll feel this way whether i like her or not. now i can play music and sing all the random lines and hyperventilate whenever i want. and do gross stuff like digging my nose anytime, ahahaha.
okay i think i need to pore pack soon.
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