Friday, July 21, 2006
today was disgusting. had lots of work and i didn't even finish up everything. and i forgot the stuff i studied for chemistry.
well, i did pretty well for my math test. at least i think so. in fact, it's like my best math test this year. and i figured that no one should be pissed with me because my math has been terrible this year and everyone has been doing better than me so this is at least something to make me feel good anout myself.
about nationals. no, i'm not gonna blog about what an ass i have been, how we screwed up or anything. because i have read enough blogs and it's all about the same stuff. i think i am weird, because i somehow like the fall Bdiv experienced this year. it made me feel very... realistic. i liked how i could see "YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH" shouting at my face and how i cried so much and felt so much and thought so much. of course, it's not the kind of thing that makes you happy, in fact it got me down quite a bit, but i like it in a weird kind of way, i can't really describe it. it made me learn a lot, i have to admit. and i'm happy because i know my teammates are going to train hard, and so am i.
today was busy. very very busy. and it made me feel really bad because it's the last day having lessons with winifred and i didn't do much for her. in fact i was studying my chemistry, and it made me feel worse when she was nice about it. i feel pretty sorry because i don't think i've been a good buddy. in fact, i think i have been rotten. with math test on monday, nationals on wednesday, and chem test on friday, it's been so crazy that it sort of made me crazy too. and it really made me feel bad because i know she paid a lot to come here. but she's been really really nice and i'm really happy to know her. i think she's really sweet because she's been making me laugh a lot during lesson, even though sometimes i talk to her so much that i don't even listen. especially during math and bio lessons, it's been really funny to hear her talk about mushroom, turtleneck and the vegetable woman. and she knows that i'm sad so she tries to cheer me up, telling me all sorts of funny stuff and making me feel stupid once again. and giving me skittles, tempo and writing me all those cute little notes. and i like the mr. incredible plaster a lot cos it made me feel incredible too! today she gave me another one and i'm not going to use it. i think i will buy the incredibles plaster and use it in future when i feel lousy again. you may think it's stupid and i think it's stupid too but you should know that i'm not very smart in the first place. anyhow i feel very sorry and thankful at the same time, because even though i only knew her this week, she's been really nice to be there for me in difficult times like this.
and i thank my classmates for being such crazy bitches even though they all hate me now because i passed my math test. i like the way they act so stupid when they are actually very very smart. and i thank them for making lessons and school a whole lot more bearable, bitching around and doing stupid stuff.
and a big thank you to my teammates, for going through so much together as a team. and i know that as much as all of you hate to admit it, you all think i'm cool and you all love me. let's work hard together and shit together, okay!
it was quite cool after i left school today. had a good dinner.
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