Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Life sucks when you reach out for your notebook and realize that it's drenched. Then you find out that it's been raining and your window was open all the time. Thank god, most of the things aren't mine, but my sister's. And can I say that I have been nice by trying to dry her stuff and salvage something of hers, which I call her wedding photo.
Now the internet reception is weak, and I have to type everything in word until the whole thing works again.
But I'm not exactly in a bad mood though. Which is really weird, considering my drastic mood swings nowadays.
Wanted to blog on Sunday, but couldn't find the time and we hadn't set up the internet yet. So, I've written it out and here it goes:
"Loads of things have happened since yesterday. I'm in my new house now! Shifting house was quite exciting, though unpacking is quite a chore. It's even worse than packing up. And I haven't explored around the house yet, since all I do now is to unpack and take an occasional long break once in a while.
And my grandmother is so cute. She thought it had rained the whole day of Saturday cos of the sound the swimming pool makes. And can I say she has been very nice by helping my parents to tape boxes though they did not appreciate it at all.
My grandfather keeps getting lost in the house. It gets quite irritating, to be honest. But it's generally okay.
And now, it's time to act like an angsty kid who sings 'welcome to my life' all the time.
You know what? The moment the both of you come home, you make everyone unhappy. What is your problem, may I ask? Stop telling us what to do and complaining all the time when YOU DO NOT DO ANYTHING AT ALL. All you do is to make every one in a bad mood.
Look, on Saturday, I'd been in a good mood when I woke up in the morning. And I could afford to wake up late because I was done with packing unlike SOME PEOPLE WHO WOULD RATHER SPEND THEIR TIME FINDING FAULTS WITH PEOPLE THAN PACKING AND USE "I HAVE NO TIME" AS AN EXCUSE. And you just had to spoil my mood by flaring up at me just because I dropped those boxes by accident. Fine, my fault. I am the one who has a constant black face because I am such a loser. But let me tell you this, it's no use shouting all that 'fuck you' at me. Don't worry, I won't shout that back at you. You can scream and shout at me for all I care, not because that would make me cry, but because at the end of it all, I laugh at you. I LAUGH AT YOU. Because you are so full of yourself and think you're the smartest ass on earth, when in reality, you're just plain pathetic and narrow-minded. Not to mention your temper. But whatever, really. I AM JUST SO SORRY BECAUSE I WON'T GO DOWN ON MY KNEES AND WORSHIP YOU 24/7. Earning all that money doesn't, and I mean DOESN'T, make you the greatest thing ever. But it's okay. I'll bear with your stupid temper, and at the end of it all, I LAUGH AT YOU. You, who thinks so much of yourself and whose ego is way up in the sky.
Honestly, if you think everybody is brainless and can't do things properly, then why don't you do it yourself? Since you keep finding faults with other people, then why don't you do everything yourself? Oh, I'm so sorry, but I forgot, that you have NO TIME. But wait. How can Mr. Perfect have no time? This is a little weird, isn't it? Mr. Perfect ought to do everything by himself, so that when he does something wrongly, we can all shout and scream into his face.
Please, you call us stupid and lazy creatures who refuse to pack up, but what have you done? And you try to act tough by saying you'll manage by yourself when we volunteer to help but in the end? You depend on us to do it and then you blame us for breaking your things. Fine, then why did you bother to ask for our help then? Just so that you can blame us if something goes wrong? How splendid, thanks a lot.
Honestly, it doesn't mean that because you earn the money, it makes you the greatest and we should all worship you. And it doesn't mean that the people who don't work are useless and have all the time in the world and what we do are the most unimportant stuff in the world. The moment you come back, you have to make everyone feel lousy and worthless. Look, it's plain to see that you push all the things to us and make a lame excuse that you have no time and then you blame us for all that we've done. And you are such selfish people, who only care about yourself all the time and expect us to care for you all the time.
And appreciate it when people help you, not flare up at them. Honestly, the best thing you can do when you ask for help is to say thank you and shut up after that. Not flare up, because that is very rude. If you are unhappy with what people have done, then do it YOURSELF! And stop thinking that you're the only busy ones, because you're not.
Oh well, the worst of it all, is me being just like a stupid crybaby when I know you don't even care. The worst of it all is me feeling miserable about it. I guess I'm only capable of fixing chairs and fans and blowing air into air elements.
And I'm sorry, for being so stupid that I haven't learnt the art of worshipping you in these fourteen years. But you know what? Even if I'm stupid, I GOT THE GENES FROM YOU.
And thanks to you, I've learnt a couple of things. People say that we should all learn from our own mistakes, and I try hard to do so. But not only do I learn from my mistakes, I learn from YOUR mistakes, too.
And fuck me? Fuck me, alright. I LAUGH AT YOU.
Have to say that I'm real glad that my father is not my husband. Because I would have hated myself for having such bad taste.
I have no idea if they'll read this or not, actually, since my sister showed my blog to them once. But even if they see it, I don't care. Not like as if they cared about me anyway. And even if they see it, they'll be facing the computer screen, and not me. Though I doubt they will even bother coming. They're very busy people, remember?"
Yeah, that was what I had written on Sunday, more or less. Have to say that I don't hate them though, just to clarify. Now I'm just feeling !@#$%^&*() for tomorrow's training camp and I haven't finished unpacking yet.
And can I say that this has been a very long post.
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